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I’ve been working hard behind the scenes in the month of October.
Launching a crafty blog that I’ve quietly been working on, and will continue to quietly work on. (I’m not looking for internet fame or to be an influencer. Just make a quiet income doing something I enjoy.)
Lots and lots of typing behind the scenes.
I’m also launching a little side gig on Fiverr for the first of the year, after the holiday season, to help supplement things until my blogs are pulling in a part-time income.
But, back to blogging!
It takes a while for a blog to make money.
It takes consistent hard work and dedication.
I’ve heard anywhere from 12-24 months and that is a long time when you’re pouring your heart into something but damnit I’ve wanted to be a full-time blogger again for a few years so I’m buckling down and riding the wave.
I quit my remote billing job in January of this year.
There were a few reasons behind that difficult decision but as difficult as it was to pull the trigger and quit I don’t regret it.
I’ve had a wonderful year of rest, of family, of prioritizing what really matters in my life. And y’all, this will be my first holiday season in several years where I don’t have to be tied to my laptop for full time+ hours. Whew, I can just enjoy Christmas with my family!
I mostly quit to chase my own dreams knowing that I wouldn’t have the same commitment if I had something I was falling back on.
Are you like that, too?
And though I am side gigging my way to some freelance work, freelancing is so much different than a steady job. I love the gigging part of freelancing but do plan on working my way toward full time blogging! Just in the meantime, I will use my skills to freelance write, SEO, and so on.
(At one of the many doctor appointments I’ve had this year.)
And then, there’s my healing journey.
What a journey it’s been.
It’s been up and down and all around town, lemme tell ya.
It’s been frustrating and fruitful.
It’s been hopeless and hopeful.
It’s been leaning on Jesus and throwing a fist to the sky.
It’s been all those things and more.
(Woman walking out of the darkness and into the light.)
I’m currently standing at 4 diagnosed chronic illnesses.
…and many more symptoms that have yet to be diagnosed with one outstanding test waiting to be completed and sent to the lab (checking mold toxicity).
It’s a lot yet just part of my life.
I was recently interviewed for an IG feature by a sweetheart of a young lady with chronic illnesses. I really loved her questions. I won’t give away my answers here right now as they’re for her IG account but they were very thought provoking.
One of the questions led me to share that I’m no one special.
So many people think I’m special in how I approach chronic illness life.
They say, you’re so strong.
I’m not any more strong than you’d be if you were in my shoes.
They say, your faith is incredible.
My faith is no more special than yours would be if you were facing this.
They say, I love your attitude in this journey.
Trust me you guys, you would be able to carry an attitude of gratitude as well.
Truly and honestly, I’m no one special.
Big, big hugs to you – fellow warrior.
You are just as strong and resilient and special as me, as any of us.
I don’t have any special gifts or skills. I just know Jesus. I trust Him. I know He loves me and is with me. And I know this is not my only life.
Perspective is the key to keeping my half empty glass half full.
Perspective that this isn’t it. This life isn’t it for me. or you.
Perspective that I will live forever with my Jesus, the one who has laid beside me on the couch as I held my head and cried hot tears from a migraine that gripped me long before I had a neurologist to help.
Perspective that, as bad as this is, I would die for Christ.
And there are people who have and are dying for Him.
He’s worth it.
I can most certainly find the good in my life.
I can most certainly find the light at the end of the tunnel.
I can most certainly rejoice in the pain that never leaves me.
I can most certainly find things to be grateful for – even in my short daily walks that hurt so much. I see the bright blue sky and thank Him for it.
I realize I don’t share my faith that much but that is what gets me through most days.
I hope to sprinkle bits of it here and there more and more.
Because it’s how I get through and carry the baggage I carry.
And maybe it could be how you find joy in your life, too.
So, switching gears…
So, we’re going to Verizon tomorrow.
We need to find a deal on new phones for my husband and I so that we can pass our iPhone 8’s down to our two younger kids who need an upgrade.
My iPhone has served me well and it’s now time to pass it along.
We, my husband and I, aren’t into upgrading to the latest and greatest or the newest and coolest very often.
I just turned 44 and this is the first year I’ve ever had a brand new car.
Oh yes, I’ve had new to me cars before and my husband got his first brand new car 5 years ago, but this is my first ever brand new car.
It just doesn’t happen often that we upgrade things until it’s absolutely necessary.
We just aren’t those kind of people.
Nothing at all wrong with upgrading to the latest phone or car or whatever, it just isn’t our cup of tea.
Besides, frankly, we have to spend money on medical bills that pile up and the cost of living and the cost of children and not much is left for the fun stuff. If you know, you know.
Speaking of medical bills, we’ve hit our deductible.
We have a deductible insurance, don’t get me going on that, and hit that deductible, so now is the time to get everything squeezed in while we can.
I had a doctor’s appointment about my back.
I injured it a couple months ago.
I now believe I slipped a disc.
She, the MD that is, believes it’s sciatica – which is fine, it could be, but come to find out later, sciatica is often caused by a disc issue.
She didn’t advise imaging, or send me to a back specialist, she recommended PT and that’s about it.
I left disappointed but not defeated.
I’m going to get imaging done on my back. I’ll just bypass her.
I’ll get back into chiropractic care, once we have the scans back so we know what exactly is going on.
She did diagnose me with neuropathy
…and gave me a prescription of gabapentin, which hasn’t touched it at all. It’s a low dose.
(I’d originally decided not to use the prescription because some have warned me it’s hard to come off of but I decided to try a dose or two for a couple of days to see how it would react to the pain. I’m convinced the dosing is wrong or the type of med just isn’t for me, as it doesn’t do much of anything, so I’m off it now and taking natural only at this time.)
Neuropathy can be from Lyme disease, which I’ve had 14 years, or even postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, which is commonly referred to as POTS, which I have.
I wonder if it can be mold related because I just have this gut feeling my body is crawling with mold toxins. And then there’s the possibility I have a slipped/bulging disc pressing on my nerves and maybe that’s causing it.
Either way, I have it and I’m treating it – naturally right now.
My wonderful ND is treating me for it and I’m hoping to get it under control to a level where walking doesn’t absolutely kill my poor feet. It’s in my lower arms and hands some days and always in my lower legs and feet.
Some may think I’m a total mess.
Some days my flesh wants to agree with you.
However, I’m not a mess.
I’m a beautiful, whole, and blessed woman of God. I’m a child of God. I’m His beloved.
I’m strong because He made us to be strong, to be in His image.
I’m resilient because I have no other choice.
I’m in this position at no fault of my own or choice of my own but I do get to decide how to work with this body I have now.
I have decided to walk in joy, in His peace, and in gratitude.
My body is amazing not a mess.
It keeps me waking up.
It keeps me alive even while being in constant attack by bacteria and, likely, toxins. And all the chronic illnesses that came from a by-product of Lyme.
The next time someone says you are a mess, or the next time you think those words about yourself, just remember that firstly you’re not your body, you’re a spirit and that spirit is perfect.
Secondly, remember that you’re strong, whole, and perfect in Christ.
No matter what message your body is giving you, no matter what words human beings may speak over you, and no matter what thoughts to your own mind.
I don’t know how often I’ll blog here with everything going on in my professional and personal life. I hope to do update posts here and there. But, to keep posted more often, make sure you’re following me on IG.
Well, friends, I need to get my kids in bed.
And hit the sack myself.
It got dark at 6pm tonight thanks to the lovely daylights saving time (ugh!) and I’ve been dog-tired since about 7pm thinking it was more like 10pm out.
So off to dreamland I go!
I’ll see you tomorrow with a new phone and, hopefully, a better quality camera for stories on Instagram.0